


Bring Me to Life

by Pantherheart



Category: Original Work
Genre: Amy Acker as Samantha Walker, F/F, Jessica Ulrich as Victoria Moore | Katarina Ackerman, Max Riemelt as Aksel Ackerman, World War I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-06 15:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8757478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantherheart/pseuds/Pantherheart
Summary: "Happiness is hard to come by in this world. It’s even harder in times of war.”





	

_“Frozen inside without your touch,_

_Without your love, Darling._

_Only you are the life among the dead!”_

-“Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence

 

The universe is infinite and chaotic and cold. People believe that the universe… God… whatever you want to call that “higher power” is looking out for us and has our best interest in mind. The reality is the universe does not give a damn about us humans. To it, we’re just toys—playthings, whose lives it manipulates and destroys for the soul purpose of its selfish entertainment. People say the universe has saved their lives, it’s given them miracles. You want to know what it did for me? It gave me my true love, only to rip her away from me in the most heartbreaking of ways.

***

“Name?”

“Victoria Moore.”

The inspector looked at me curiously, as if he suspected I was lying. (Which I was—my real name was Katarina Ackerman—but I had good reason.) I thought he was going to say something about it, but he just shook his head and looked back at his papers. He scrawled something down and returned his gaze to me. “Have you committed any felonies in your home country?”

“No.”

“Do you have any relatives in the United States?”

“No.”

“Do you have any relatives in Germany?”

“No. My mother died when I was young. My father passed away a few months ago, and left me his life savings. It wasn’t enough to pay for passage here, so I worked whatever job I could get until I had enough to sail over here and support myself,” I answered.

The inspector wrote more notes down on his paper and motioned toward the doctors’ tent with his hand. “Proceed to medical inspection.”

Wordlessly, I walked to the next tent and stepped inside. It was full of other immigrants—all clustered together in groups while doctors and nurses fluttered around them. A long line was gathered by the entrance to the tent. I saw many families—mothers and fathers with children clinging to their dirty, ragged clothes. For a moment, I felt my heart ache at the thought of my own family back home. Contrary to what I told the inspector, I _do_ have relatives in Germany—my father and 3 younger siblings. I haven’t seen them in close to a year now. I see my older brother more often, but that was because we both serve in the Army.

I shook my head, clearing it of those distracting thoughts.

_I have a mission to focus on. Germany needs intel and that’s what I’m here for. I just wish they could have gotten me into the U.S. without having to go through the whole immigration process._

With a sigh, I made my way to the end of the line to wait my turn to get looked over by one of the doctors. I’d pass the inspection, I was sure. The Army officials had made sure of it before they sent me here. Within a few hours’ time, I’d be in the land of the free.

***

My first step onto American soil was not as amazing as people made it out to be. It was just… a footstep… on dirt. Personally, I liked the dirt on my family’s farm much better. It was a cleaner, richer brown and always smelled of rain and grass. This dirt smelled putrid, like… well, I’m not sure what it smelled like. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a pleasant aroma.

***

As it turns out, cities smell worse than the dirt in this country—at least, New York City in the middle of the summer does. Smoke from the nearby factories and textile mills filtered into the streets, clinging to the air and filling my nostrils, making my lungs burn. So far, the United States was not living up to all the positivity and praise people showed towards it.  I was far from impressed and somehow doubted that would change any time soon. Little did I know at the time, my life was about to change forever. And it all started the moment I laid eyes on Samantha Walker.

***

I had been walking down the street, on my way home from work. Unlike most other immigrants, I did not work in a factory. The German Army had a few trusted supporters in this country. They had contacted one of those supporters—a grumpy old man named  Friedrich Krüger—and negotiated a job for me in his inn as a server. It wasn’t the best job in the world, but it beats the factories, I’m sure. Besides, the pay wasn’t bad. Friedrich was nice enough to let me stay at the inn a few months until I had enough money to buy myself a small apartment. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it wasn’t overrun by rodents and I had it all to myself, unlike the tenants most immigrants have to live in—caked in rat crap and crammed with 12 people in a room meant for 3. I knew I had a better life than most immigrants. Then again, my circumstances were much different than theirs’.

Anyway, Samantha Walker… Like I said, I was on my way home when someone slammed into me and I fell to the ground. I looked up, about to snap at the person to ‘watch where they’re going’ when my eyes locked on the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was pale, with dark brown hair cascading down her shoulders in waves. Her amber eyes glowed unlike any I’d never seen before—filled with a determined, yet thoughtful light that mesmerized me and left me frozen.

I blinked and shook my head out of the haze that had taken over my brain. And I realized, the woman was saying something.

“…so sorry! I was in a hurry to get home and I guess I wasn’t watching where I was walking!”

“It’s… It’s ok,” I stammered.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before the woman apparently realized I was on the ground.

“Oh, let me help you up,” she offered her hand out to me. I took it and she hauled me to my feet.

 _Her hand is so warm,_ I thought.

The woman was studying me, her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head, not unlike a curious dog. I thought she looked adorable like that.

“What’s your name?” she asked. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“K- Victoria Moore,” I replied, my voice still a bit unsteady. “I just came here from Europe a few months ago.”

“Oh! I always wanted to go to Europe. Father barely lets me go anywhere since the war started there. Is that why you left?”

I didn’t know what to say to that at first. The Army gave me a false identity, and trained me to be a spy, but they never taught me what to do when I was faced with a beautiful face such as this woman’s.

Luckily—or unluckily—I didn’t have to say anything, for the woman started talking again.

“You don’t have to answer that! I didn’t mean to pry into your personal business like that!”

“That’s ok.” _Think of something better to say, you idiot!_ I screamed in my head.

The woman gave me a grin. “You’re not much of a talker, are you?” she joked.

I returned her grin, my body relaxing a little at her lighthearted tone. “I guess not. People say I tend to talk more when I get to know them.”

 _Now that was subtle,_ I praised myself.

“I would love to get to know you, Victoria. When do you get off work tomorrow?”

“6 o’clock in the evening.”

“Perfect!” The woman bared her pearly white teeth in a smile. “There’s a park around the corner from here. Would you like to meet me there, say half-hour after you leave work?”

I felt my own grin grow into a bright smile. “I’d love to.”

“Well, Victoria. I guess I’ll see you then!”

And the woman walked off, her hair shining reddish in the setting sun.

“Wait!” I called after her. “I didn’t catch your name.”

The woman stopped, turned back towards me, and smirked. “I have to keep some of my secrets, don’t I?”

I chuckled. “No, you don’t,” I challenged.

She raised an eyebrow at me, smirk never leaving her face. “Oh, well. I’m doing it, anyway.”

I watched as the mystery woman strolled off down the sidewalk and disappeared around a corner. I shook my head in amusement and continued walking. Images of brown hair and bright amber eyes swan through my mind all that evening and a mischievous smirk and a angelic voice filled my dreams that night.

***

“You seem overly cheerful today,” Friedrich grumbled as he stood beside me at the counter of the inn. Business was slower than usual and it seemed to him even grumpier than he normally is. “Is there a particular reason for that?”

“Do I have to have a reason to be happy?” I smirked back at him.

Friedrich stared at me, unimpressed. “Whatever it is, don’t let go of it. Happiness is hard to come by in this world. It’s even harder in times of war.”

***

Friedrich let me leave at exactly 6 P.M. and told me, “Lock up the inn and make sure you’re not late tomorrow,” before heading up the stairs to his room on the third floor.

I rolled my eyes because I’m never late to work and locked the front door of the inn before taking off in the direction of the park the woman had told me to her at yesterday. In the past 24 hours since I met the mysterious woman, I hadn’t been able to get her out of my thoughts. I couldn’t wait to see her again.

I arrived at the park about 15 minutes early. I sat on one of the empty benches and took the extra time I had to observe my surroundings. The park was fairly small—a tiny pond, a few trees, and a clearing of soft grass where a few children were playing with their dog.

I sat there for a while, just watching the kids roll around in the grass as the dog bounced around them. Though my senses were on high alert, I still jumped when I heard the soft whisper in my ear: “Is this seat taken, my lady?”

My heart pounded in my chest as I turned. And there _she_ was. There was no mistaking those amber eyes and that endearing smirk.

I raised an eyebrow at her as she sat down beside me. “Do you say that to all the girls you meet in the park?”

She looked at me with adoring eyes. “Only the pretty ones.”

I felt a blush rise on my checks. I tried to hide it by looking towards the children again, but judging by her growing smirk, she had seen it.

_Why does this woman have such an influence on me?_

I bit my lip and turned to face her. She still had that smirk on her face. “Will you tell me your name now?”

She pretended to think about it for a moment. “I suppose that is fair... Considering, I have made you wait a whole 24 hours.” She tilted her head in that adorable way of hers. “You can call me… Samantha Walker.”

“Samantha Walker.” I liked the sound of that. “That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person.”

This time, it was… Samantha’s turn to blush. _Two can play the flirting game,_  I thought.

“You think I’m, beautiful?” she said softly, uncertain.

It was odd to see her so unconfident in herself. “I don’t just _think_ you are beautiful,” I told her, my voice as equally soft as hers. “I _know_ you are.”

Samantha smiled— _Goodness, I loved that smile_ —and whispered, leaning in a bit closer to me, “Well, that’s a relief. I was afraid my feelings were one-sided.”

“What gave you that idea?” I asked, mirroring her actions until we were a few centimeters apart.

“I haven’t the slightest clue, Victoria.” Samantha bridged the gap between us and our lips connected for the first time. I felt literal sparks ignite in my body at the taste of her sweet lips on mine. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I’d kissed men before, but none fo those kisses compared to this. They were _nothing_ compared to the feel of Samantha’s tongue brushing against mine or the soft caress of her hand as it came to cup my cheek. It was, as cliché as this sounds, simply… magical.

And I knew from that moment, that I—Katarina Ackerman—was unconditionally, forever in love with Samantha Walker.

***

That next two months were the best months of my entire life. Samantha and I met at the park almost every day. We talked about a lot of things. I told her about my family, life on our farm, and how I wished more than anything that I could see them again. She told me about her family, as well. She lived with her mother. Her father and older brother were soldiers in the U.S. military, so she didn’t see them very often. She told me that her biggest wish was to be able to serve in the military with her father and brother—to protect her country in the best way she could. I reminded her that she could become a nurse, but she told me that she would hate to have to see people in so much pain and have no way to heal them. I admired her for that. She longed for something that she could never have, but she didn’t let that stop her from making a difference in the world. Her family was rich. She could go anywhere she wanted, study at any school she desired… But instead, Samantha stayed here and ran a small shop with her mother where they provided food and supplies to homeless immigrants. They even let some of them live in their house with them, even though Samantha’s father did not like that very much. He did not have anything against the immigrants, Samantha told me, he just wanted to make sure his family was completely safe. I could understand that. If anything happened to Samantha, I don’t know what I’d do…

***

I received news of the Zimmerman Telegraph in the _New York Times._ Samantha was outraged and upset when she heard about it.

”I know, you’re from Germany, Tor, but I just don’t understand how a country can do that to another!”

I was at a loss for words, wanting to comfort my love but also wanting to defend my homeland. At last, I settled with, “Things like that happen in war, Sam.”

Samantha just cried into my neck as I held her tight against my chest. For the first time in my life, my heart was split two ways. And I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

***

Shortly after the news of the telegraph was released to the American public, I received a coded letter from my brother, telling me Germany needs information on whether the U.S. plans to enter the war or not. I sat at my kitchen table, pen in hand, ready to write a replying letter, when I looked at the time.

_Crap! It’s 6:20! I have to meet Sam in 10 minutes at the park!_

Immediately, I shot out of my chair and grabbed my coat from my bedroom before running out the door, barely remembering to lock it behind me.

I tore down the road towards the park and skidded to a halt at our designated meeting spot. Sam was already there, staring at me with a smirk and a loving look in her eyes. “You’re a minute late, Tor. Did you forget about me?”

“I could never forget you, my love.” I smiled and sat down beside her.

Samantha rested her head on my shoulder and sighed in contentment. “Can I come over to your apartment tongight?” she asked.

“Won’t your mother be worried?”

“I told her I’d be at a friend’s place.”

“You’re still telling her I’m your friend, huh?” I teased.

“Well, I certainly can’t tell her the truth. My mother may help people of less fortune than her, but homosexuality is a whole other thing.”

I hummed in understanding and kissed the top of Samantha’s head. “Well, I guess we’re having a sleepover, then.”

Samantha smiled. “It seems we are, Tor.”

I laughed and we settled in silence to watch the bare branches of the trees sway in the gentle breeze.

***

When we arrived at my apartment later that night, we were exhausted. Work had been very busy that day and Samantha and her mother had a lot of immigrants at their shop due to the cold weather. As soon as I closed the door behind us, we headed to the bedroom, changed into our nightwear, and climbed into bed. We fell asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillows.

***

The next morning, I woke up alone. That wasn’t unusual when Samantha slept over. She was an early riser and liked to get up early to watch the sunrise. I yawned and got out of bed. I padded to the kitchen, but no one was there. I looked in the living room area, but there was no one there either. Something was different, but I wasn’t sure what it was just yet. I ventured outside the building to see if Samantha had gone to feed the stray cats again. She did that, a lot. Even in the winter, when it was freezing outside, If she could, she’d take the cats home with her, but her mother doesn’t like strays and won’t let them in the house because she doesn’t want them spreading disease. Which I think is a bit hypocritical, considering she helps immigrants who are—no offense to them—very much like strays.

Sure enough, when I got outside, there was Samantha. Sitting on the ground, a cat in her lap. I recognized the cat to be the grey tabby female she’d named Lily. She was feeding her pieces of bread and petting her head, while the cat purred and nuzzled close to her body. I smiled, for it truly was an heartwarming sight.

“Good morning, Sam,” I called.

I saw Samantha’s body tense at the sound of my voice. Now I knew something was wrong. Samantha would never do that. She’d greet me with a smile. And if she were upset with me, she come out and say it to my face.

“Sam, what’s wrong?” I questioned gently, reaching a hand out to comfortingly touch her shoulder.

She flinched away from me. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “Don’t touch me!” she growled. Lily turned and looked at me. She hissed, baring her teeth and giving me a genuinely frightening death glare.

_What the Hell? She never does that!_

“Sam…” I tried to reach out for my lover again, but this time Lily swiped a paw at me, claws out, leaving three scratches across my arm.

I jumped away in shock. Lily and I may not always see eye to eye, but the cat had never made any attempt to physically hurt me. I had no clue what was going on, but I knew it was bad.

Samantha finally turned toward me, soothingly stroking Lily’s ears to calm her from trying to jump out of her arms and lunge at me. “Care to tell me the truth?” she growled.

I stared at her, confused. “About what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. How about we start with the part where your real name is Katarina Ackerman and you’re apparanetly a spy for the German Army?”

My eyes widened in shock as I suddenly realized what had been different this morning. The letter from my brother that I had been reading yesterday. I had accidently left it on the kitchen table! Samantha must have found it this morning and read it.

“Sam, I-“

“Don’t call me that!”

“Just- Let me explain-“

“No, _Katarina_! I don’t want to hear it! In fact, I never want to see you again! You lied to me. About everything. Those times you said you love me, were they real, or was it just an act to get information from me to send to the Germans?!”

I stared, frozen in shock, as Samantha tore off down the street, that damned cat still clutched to her chest like a lifeline.

***

That night, I wrote to my brother, telling him everything—about Samantha, the letter she found, what she said this morning, all of it. I begged him for help, how to get her back. I couldn’t loose Samantha. She was the love of my life. If I lost her, there’d be nothing left for me to live for.

I sent the letter out and cried myself to sleep that night. What dreams I had were full of memories of Samantha’s face, her smile, her beautiful amber eyes… My heart was broken and I didn’t know if it would ever heal. I was never much of a believer, but what little faith I had that there was a “higher power” looking out for me… was gone. I’d lost faith in everything. At that point, I’d rather die than live without Samantha.

***

My brother’s letter arrived a week later. That whole week, I hadn’t done anything. I’d just layed in bed, my mind replaying memories over and over of the happy times I spent with my true love.

When Friedrich told me that one day at work so long ago, “Happiness is harder to come by in times of war,” I believed what he said… but I don’t think I truly understood it. Not until now.

When my brother’s letter arrived at my doorstep. I hurriedly tore it open with shaking hands. It read:

 

_**My dear sister Katarina,** _

_**It is clear to me that your allegiances no longer lie with a country, but rather with a woman. You ask for my advice, so I give you this: Follow your heart, my sister. Love is a mysterious thing. It can start wars and it can heal the most broken of people. If your heart is broken without Samantha—if it does indeed long for her, as you say—go find her, sister. Listen to your heart. Find your true love and fight for her. And if something is to happen to me, never forget me. And always remember: I am watching over you, my dear little sister. I am always by your side in spirit, heart, and soul.** _

_**Love,** _

_**Aksel** _

 

Two days later, I got word from the German Army that my brother had been killed in battle. That night, I barely slept. Instead, I sobbed, my brother's final letter and Samantha’s favorite hat clutched to my chest. It was the one her mother had made her for Christmas last year, the light blue one with a grey cat sown on the front. She had accidently left it here the morning she confronted me about the letter.

I searched for Samantha for months and months are that, but I never found her. Finally, her mother came to my apartment one day with news. She told me: “Samantha is dead. She ran off one night without a trace. Turns out, she took that damned cat and fled on a ship to Europe. She was found by the Germans in Austria Hungary two months later. They killed her. And the cat. They knew who she was somehow.”

My ice-cold heart felt like a thousand pounds in my chest. _They must have seen the letters I sent Aksel._

Mrs. Walker continued. “I found the letter, _Katarina._ I know the truth. Because of you, my daughter is dead.” She opened the door to leave, but I called after her.

“Mrs. Walker.”

She stopped, hand on the door handle, but did not turn to face me.

“I truly loved your daughter.”

Mrs. Walker was silent for a minute. Then she said, “I know. But I still cannot forgive you.”

“I won’t ever forgive myself,” I whispered.

Mrs. Walker didn’t say another word. She just left the apartment and closed the door behind her. I sat there, staring at the closed door, for so long my muscles became stiff from not moving.

Wordlessly, I stood and made my way to the window. It was the same one Samantha had spent so many mornings watching the sunset at. I unlocked it and slid it open. With a blank expression on my face and no feeling in my heart, I sat on the windowsill and swung my legs over the edge. I sat there, staring at the empty street below.

“I’m sorry, Samantha. I love you,” I whispered. I took a deep breath and I closed my eyes. The last thing I saw was a pair of amber eyes behind the darkness of my eyelids. Then… I let go of my grip on the windowsill… and jumped the 4 stories to the hard ground.

Like I said, the universe is infinite and chaotic and cold.


End file.
